Tag Archives: How to Win Friends and Influence People

Other Shoes

We’ve probably all heard the expression, ‘Put yourself in the other person’s shoes‘.  Well, how easy is that to do?  Have you ever been successful at doing that?

Years ago, while taking The Dale Carnegie Course, I read his book, How to Win Friends and Influence People. His premise is that the other person in any kind of exchange, is thinking from their position.  Therefore, to win them over, you need to put yourself in their shoes.

Most importantly, remember and say the person’s name.  Ask lots of questions to get the other person to talk about himself.  Keep asking and listening.  The other person will think you are a wonderful conversationalist.  They will think well of you for paying attention to them.

Many years ago, around the time I was taking this course,  I was in a business-social, black tie situation with executive level people.  I engaged my newly-learned skill and was utterly amazed at the response when I immersed myself in learning about them.  These people were extremely responsive and receptive to the attention and I felt totally empowered.

The concept of putting yourself in the other’s shoes, is the highest compliment you can give someone.  It means that you are interested.

This is actually a reminder to myself to remember to do this more often.  With family, with friends, with business acquaintances, in networking situations (ahhh…  networking situations–we really need to do this here).

How about you?  Have you ever done this?  How did it go?

If you have never tried this, perhaps it’s time to give it a try and let us know how it works.

Have fun with this and enjoy the experience.  I believe you will do this often once you are comfortable with the process.  Let us know.


What’s Really Going On?

Recently I saw this thought-provoking video posted on someone’s Facebook wall and remembered I had seen the same video on a friend’s wall a while back and posted it here in my blog.

Well, this is so good that it is worth reposting.

There is an expression I’ve used that reminds me of what’s really going on here.  We all spin in our own circles.  We all are dealing with stuff!  We all have so much going on in our life that sometimes we forget that everyone else does as well.

It’s not all about us!  We need to keep this in mind when we become impatient with someone in the type of situations this guy encountered.  You know, every day situations that can get us annoyed and frustrated easily.

So, let’s keep in mind that we may be getting someone around us annoyed by the things we do and don’t even realize it.  We’re all thinking of our own stuff!

On a side note, one of the best things I’ve done in my life, was to take The Dale Carnegie Course in the early 80s.  It taught me that it’s not all about me.  Everyone has their own issues and things that are important to them.  How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie…  If I remember that is the premise of the book.  You may enjoy reading it.


What are your comments on this?